Well... last time I talked about friends...it was a great feeling.
This time its a troubled feeling...
When your life runs smoothly, friends add hue to it. When you are troubled, they remove the grey lines. But what happens when you know that there is a grey line in a friend's life and in the process of removing that, your friend turns away from you???
Well this is regarding a female friend of mine... who is facing problems at workplace. She didn't have the courage to talk about it to her parents. Being my best friend, she entrusted me with it! Now that I knew it, I couldnt let her work there... and everything I said started going against me. I tried to convince her to talk to her parents or to her sis if not her dad.. But she started ignoring me. She is of the thought that her evaluation would suffer if she brings up the issue in the office, and would be kind of emprisoned if she tells it to her parents.
Our parents would never take a wrong decision for us, nor would they ever think of jeopardising our future. If they trust us, they would not make us pay for something we didnt do!!
But probably she didnt want to listen to me. I dont know how any rating can be more than respect! Any firm can never evaluate me to the best of my abilities..and so for such an evaluation I cant stake myself, my integrity and my values.
But this thought of mine intensified the gap she has created...I am still not sure what she thinks. If she doesnt like it, why does she let it happen? And I dont want to believe she would like it!
She has always been strong, both in terms of mind and might... I dont know what keeps her mum this time. I know her keeping shut is dangerous and I dont want her to harm herself, but I cant gather up the strength and inform her parents. Moreover, I'm sure she would not like my going to her parents. Coz she has lately been disliking my thoughts over this issue.
I seek strength from other friends of mine...to come to a decision... My friendship with her is on a toss right now and the worse that can happen, would be that she would never talk to me.. but if she's safe, sooner or later she'll realize we were on the same side! But till then, she'll hate me!!
Monday, March 1, 2010
My Religion..
The other day someone asked me if I believe in 'Sai Baba' or not.... Tricky question..
If I ask myself, I cant differentiate my feelings when I am in Sai Baba's Mandir or Shivji's Mandir or a Church or a Gurudwara.. or for that matter even a Mosque.
When I am in there, all I can think of is "A" God, who can bless me, who can strengthen me. Not the principles that lay there in the belief of 'that' God!!
I believe that God is the creator of humanity. He knows our needs and gives us the opportunities to fulfil them. Its upto us to identify those and take the requisite steps. He can be Jesus, Krishna or Allah...depends on how we see him. All that matters is the form in which we idolize him and that differentiates us as Christians, Hindus, Muslims or Sikhs. But Im sure all He wants is our well being whosoever He is!
As for me, I believe if I can bow for the 20,000 (or so) Hindu Gods...(im not sure how many Hindu Gods are idolized...but thats not the questions here.), I can also bow for 1 Jesus, 1 Allah and so on and so forth. I would connect to 'The' same God through any of them.
I am not patronising any Religion here, nor defaming any. What I want to say is that the hatred for other Religion seems petty to me. The fights over praying places and religious ceremonies are nothing but things to keep people distracted. Im sure no Religion preaches inhumanity and display of hostility against other kinds of worship.
Its not modern thinking..its rational thinking. I have my faiths and I would not want others to preach for me. I would do what I want to do and believe in things I think are right (all of us do that right?). Then why do we interfare with other's beliefs? Why dont we let people pray the way they are accustomed to? Why do we fight over worshipping places? Where on earth is it written that A Temple and A Mosque cant stand together? Who has seen God preaching the demolishion of all other religious beliefs?
Well, it can go on and on.. but I just want all of us to think that up there, there's just ONE GOD!! We love him in our form and by defying other Religions, we are defying him. I want us to respect all the Religions and pray the way we are comfortable. I want all of us to get above such differences and focus on other pressing issues.
If I ask myself, I cant differentiate my feelings when I am in Sai Baba's Mandir or Shivji's Mandir or a Church or a Gurudwara.. or for that matter even a Mosque.
When I am in there, all I can think of is "A" God, who can bless me, who can strengthen me. Not the principles that lay there in the belief of 'that' God!!
I believe that God is the creator of humanity. He knows our needs and gives us the opportunities to fulfil them. Its upto us to identify those and take the requisite steps. He can be Jesus, Krishna or Allah...depends on how we see him. All that matters is the form in which we idolize him and that differentiates us as Christians, Hindus, Muslims or Sikhs. But Im sure all He wants is our well being whosoever He is!
As for me, I believe if I can bow for the 20,000 (or so) Hindu Gods...(im not sure how many Hindu Gods are idolized...but thats not the questions here.), I can also bow for 1 Jesus, 1 Allah and so on and so forth. I would connect to 'The' same God through any of them.
I am not patronising any Religion here, nor defaming any. What I want to say is that the hatred for other Religion seems petty to me. The fights over praying places and religious ceremonies are nothing but things to keep people distracted. Im sure no Religion preaches inhumanity and display of hostility against other kinds of worship.
Its not modern thinking..its rational thinking. I have my faiths and I would not want others to preach for me. I would do what I want to do and believe in things I think are right (all of us do that right?). Then why do we interfare with other's beliefs? Why dont we let people pray the way they are accustomed to? Why do we fight over worshipping places? Where on earth is it written that A Temple and A Mosque cant stand together? Who has seen God preaching the demolishion of all other religious beliefs?
Well, it can go on and on.. but I just want all of us to think that up there, there's just ONE GOD!! We love him in our form and by defying other Religions, we are defying him. I want us to respect all the Religions and pray the way we are comfortable. I want all of us to get above such differences and focus on other pressing issues.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Our Decisions.
So what do we do when we have a decision to make??
Many of us think that we are very good decision makers. But the question is after making a decision how many of us put our 100% into it? How many of us respect our decision and not regret it later? And, how many of us dont blame others for the consequences of our decisions?
Surprise!!! Its human to do all the above!!!!!!
If you decide something, it doesnt mean that the decision is rigid!!
The success of a decision depends not on the extent to which you stick to it, but on the happiness and contentment of all those who are affected by it.
And while im writing this, im thinking of my Mom and Dad, and whether they would be happy with me pursuing my design dreams... :D
(Sometimes a smile on the faces of our loved ones is all that we strive for right??? )
Decisions whether small or big are taken keeping in mind all the pros and cons...but our self-centric mind doesnt think of others while making the decision. All I want us to have is some room for flexibility.. flexibility for people who matter, who might or would be affected by our decisions.
Showing our solidarity for decisions taken by us is worth accolading, but if people who love us suffer because of it..theres nothing worse!
Many of us think that we are very good decision makers. But the question is after making a decision how many of us put our 100% into it? How many of us respect our decision and not regret it later? And, how many of us dont blame others for the consequences of our decisions?
Surprise!!! Its human to do all the above!!!!!!
If you decide something, it doesnt mean that the decision is rigid!!
The success of a decision depends not on the extent to which you stick to it, but on the happiness and contentment of all those who are affected by it.
And while im writing this, im thinking of my Mom and Dad, and whether they would be happy with me pursuing my design dreams... :D
(Sometimes a smile on the faces of our loved ones is all that we strive for right??? )
Decisions whether small or big are taken keeping in mind all the pros and cons...but our self-centric mind doesnt think of others while making the decision. All I want us to have is some room for flexibility.. flexibility for people who matter, who might or would be affected by our decisions.
Showing our solidarity for decisions taken by us is worth accolading, but if people who love us suffer because of it..theres nothing worse!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
its different this time....
Well, i dont really like cribbing about things... this didnt happen, that isnt what i wanted and all that stuff! But i understand that sometimes this is the only thing that you can do to make you feel good about something.
I have this friend of mine who is hell of an achiever but just cant stop cribbing!!! Hes in a premier B-School now and all that he complains now of is that his life is crippled and he doesnt get to eat what he wants!! I understand that staying away from home is difficult, specially for those who have been pampered at home like my friend, but dude you cant stay at home forever!! You have to step up and make your destiny. And its for your own future.
We all adjust to situations, try to fit into the surroundings for our survival just to get the best out of life. If we spend half the time cribbing about it, even the future that we envisaged wouldnt be as cheerful as we think it would have been. Coz, by the time we reach our "future", we pick up the habit of cribbing!! And then, it would be our relationships that we crib about.
Infact I think that its a vicious circle... we aspire for something, we crib about not getting that thing... we get it.. and then we crib about that thing. I have an instance here again, I have a friend, 'happily' in love with her boyfriend. When she was single, she used to call me everyday to express her disstisfaction of not getting a boyfriend!! (my mom almost thought I was having an affair!!). So, when her efforts paid off and she got herself a boyfriend.. the 1st 2-3 months were "lonely" for me :D! Soonafter, she resumed her daily routine of calling me and this time the discussions focussed on how insensitive her boyfriend was! Man!! Why cant we keep our expectations out of somethings??? She has till date 3 boyfriends to her credit and she even cribbs that!!!!
Anyway, the point of focus was cribbing and not my sweet friend! We all say that Im not the one who likes cribbing, but given situations, sometimes its the best thing to do to console yourself. Like, when you leave your debit card in the machine and back in the car you realise your loss. It was just becoz of the person next in queue that you had to hurry and so you left it there!!
My take: Crib Crib and Crib... but not always, not to everyone, not about everything.
Take responsibility of your actions. If something wrong has happened, it has happened coz you have let it happen. So dont blame others as if it never dawned on you. You knew it was wrong and you still let it happen. Digest the facts and go about minding your business. You'll be a happier person.
I have this friend of mine who is hell of an achiever but just cant stop cribbing!!! Hes in a premier B-School now and all that he complains now of is that his life is crippled and he doesnt get to eat what he wants!! I understand that staying away from home is difficult, specially for those who have been pampered at home like my friend, but dude you cant stay at home forever!! You have to step up and make your destiny. And its for your own future.
We all adjust to situations, try to fit into the surroundings for our survival just to get the best out of life. If we spend half the time cribbing about it, even the future that we envisaged wouldnt be as cheerful as we think it would have been. Coz, by the time we reach our "future", we pick up the habit of cribbing!! And then, it would be our relationships that we crib about.
Infact I think that its a vicious circle... we aspire for something, we crib about not getting that thing... we get it.. and then we crib about that thing. I have an instance here again, I have a friend, 'happily' in love with her boyfriend. When she was single, she used to call me everyday to express her disstisfaction of not getting a boyfriend!! (my mom almost thought I was having an affair!!). So, when her efforts paid off and she got herself a boyfriend.. the 1st 2-3 months were "lonely" for me :D! Soonafter, she resumed her daily routine of calling me and this time the discussions focussed on how insensitive her boyfriend was! Man!! Why cant we keep our expectations out of somethings??? She has till date 3 boyfriends to her credit and she even cribbs that!!!!
Anyway, the point of focus was cribbing and not my sweet friend! We all say that Im not the one who likes cribbing, but given situations, sometimes its the best thing to do to console yourself. Like, when you leave your debit card in the machine and back in the car you realise your loss. It was just becoz of the person next in queue that you had to hurry and so you left it there!!
My take: Crib Crib and Crib... but not always, not to everyone, not about everything.
Take responsibility of your actions. If something wrong has happened, it has happened coz you have let it happen. So dont blame others as if it never dawned on you. You knew it was wrong and you still let it happen. Digest the facts and go about minding your business. You'll be a happier person.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Trust
One of the pillars that gives strength to any relationship.. yes! It is Trust.
When do we know we trust someone?
Whenever I start thinking of him/her as a friend.. when I go to him/her with all my problems. When I tell him/her I am scared of a Lizard and I know that he/she would never play a prank on me with a lizard.
When I decide that I will go for the trip iff he/she would go. When I tell him/her I feel for that hottie!!
It is something which developes all by itself.. It is independent of the amount of time you spend together.. You cant compel anyone to trust you and similarly you yourself cant trust anyone and everyone. It "happens" with some special people.
When you trust you can do anything...inorder to keep up the trust. You surpass your abilities just to make those who trust and love you, gleam with pride. It feels great to be trusted.. to know people believe you. And whenever you are dim.. a simple "I believe you can do it" is a lifesaver!!
Trust is like a Mirror.. you trust and you get trust back. But if you break it, you never get it back. Its like the crack which can be mended but it never really gets ameliorated.
Its the basis of all relationships on Earth... without which life cant be worth living... without which there is a gap..a gap that can be filled by nothing else on the planet because until you trust someone you cant love him/her. Its necessitates the presence of harmony in your life.
The moral of this article is NOT to trust people blindly, but to NEVER break trust. Its the biggest wealth that anyone confers on you. Treasure it.
When do we know we trust someone?
Whenever I start thinking of him/her as a friend.. when I go to him/her with all my problems. When I tell him/her I am scared of a Lizard and I know that he/she would never play a prank on me with a lizard.
When I decide that I will go for the trip iff he/she would go. When I tell him/her I feel for that hottie!!
It is something which developes all by itself.. It is independent of the amount of time you spend together.. You cant compel anyone to trust you and similarly you yourself cant trust anyone and everyone. It "happens" with some special people.
When you trust you can do anything...inorder to keep up the trust. You surpass your abilities just to make those who trust and love you, gleam with pride. It feels great to be trusted.. to know people believe you. And whenever you are dim.. a simple "I believe you can do it" is a lifesaver!!
Trust is like a Mirror.. you trust and you get trust back. But if you break it, you never get it back. Its like the crack which can be mended but it never really gets ameliorated.
Its the basis of all relationships on Earth... without which life cant be worth living... without which there is a gap..a gap that can be filled by nothing else on the planet because until you trust someone you cant love him/her. Its necessitates the presence of harmony in your life.
The moral of this article is NOT to trust people blindly, but to NEVER break trust. Its the biggest wealth that anyone confers on you. Treasure it.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Love is for a moment, Friends are FOREVER!!!!
I mean it again!!!!
Im not talking about the feeling called "Love"...dont think I can do justice to it!!
What Im here for is friends... Id rather call them saviours...coz be whatever, through thick or thin, they are alwayz standing beside you without a frown on their faces!!! They pull you out of the deepest sorrows in seconds..just with their hugs!!
I call them energisers, they push you out of your laziness...just for that cup of coffee.., they make you wait for a bus in the sun...just to be together!!!
I alwayz believed in making friends and sticking to them forever!!! (that might actualy sound sticky!! but id prefer a "fevicol ka jod" than being alone!!!) and believe me...im still in touch with my best buddy in kindergarden though we hav been away since more than 10 yrs!!!!!!!!
But what matters is that whether I am able to stand by them rather than stick to them!!! Coz its easy to make friends with whom you can hang around, but its tough to earn a friend.
I have seen people who call themselves Best of Friends, pretend to be the coolest around....but who cant stop bitching about each other at every possible opportunity!!
Friendship doesnt need show offs...if you need to be somebody else infront of a friend..then take my word for it...he/she is not a friend....and can never be until you start being yourself!
Friends are those who accept you just as you are...good looking or bad...intelligent or dumb... they like you for what you are not for who you are.
If you have someone like that, you are lucky....and if you dont, try being one yourself....you will soon get one like that!!!
Coming to "Love"...as I said earlier....im probably not the right one to quote on the feeling. But if you ask me, if I can love someone more than anything else on the planet (ofcourse apart from my family n all, and that anything else includes chocolates!!!), I'd say, its my friends.
Who else would come to your rescue at any time by the watch?? Who else would be ready to act like a clown just to make you laugh out hard? Who else would do anything you say, inspite of the fact that they wont get anything in return?? Who else would fight for you when somebody else tries to diminish you? Who else would own you (and your belongings as well! :D) as much as a friend would do?? Who else would understand your mood even when you dont feel like describing whatever you went through? Its a Friend!!
Owning a friend is like planting a tree and nurturing it. Friendship is a treasure for those who recognise... without which life is all dull and dim!!!
This one's for all my friends (wont name you guyz...coz incase i miss sumone...you'll kill me!!)
coz you brought me back to life!!!!
Im not talking about the feeling called "Love"...dont think I can do justice to it!!
What Im here for is friends... Id rather call them saviours...coz be whatever, through thick or thin, they are alwayz standing beside you without a frown on their faces!!! They pull you out of the deepest sorrows in seconds..just with their hugs!!
I call them energisers, they push you out of your laziness...just for that cup of coffee.., they make you wait for a bus in the sun...just to be together!!!
I alwayz believed in making friends and sticking to them forever!!! (that might actualy sound sticky!! but id prefer a "fevicol ka jod" than being alone!!!) and believe me...im still in touch with my best buddy in kindergarden though we hav been away since more than 10 yrs!!!!!!!!
But what matters is that whether I am able to stand by them rather than stick to them!!! Coz its easy to make friends with whom you can hang around, but its tough to earn a friend.
I have seen people who call themselves Best of Friends, pretend to be the coolest around....but who cant stop bitching about each other at every possible opportunity!!
Friendship doesnt need show offs...if you need to be somebody else infront of a friend..then take my word for it...he/she is not a friend....and can never be until you start being yourself!
Friends are those who accept you just as you are...good looking or bad...intelligent or dumb... they like you for what you are not for who you are.
If you have someone like that, you are lucky....and if you dont, try being one yourself....you will soon get one like that!!!
Coming to "Love"...as I said earlier....im probably not the right one to quote on the feeling. But if you ask me, if I can love someone more than anything else on the planet (ofcourse apart from my family n all, and that anything else includes chocolates!!!), I'd say, its my friends.
Who else would come to your rescue at any time by the watch?? Who else would be ready to act like a clown just to make you laugh out hard? Who else would do anything you say, inspite of the fact that they wont get anything in return?? Who else would fight for you when somebody else tries to diminish you? Who else would own you (and your belongings as well! :D) as much as a friend would do?? Who else would understand your mood even when you dont feel like describing whatever you went through? Its a Friend!!
Owning a friend is like planting a tree and nurturing it. Friendship is a treasure for those who recognise... without which life is all dull and dim!!!
This one's for all my friends (wont name you guyz...coz incase i miss sumone...you'll kill me!!)
coz you brought me back to life!!!!
Its tough to be good.
Well when I say "Its tough to be good", I mean every word of it. And by good, ofcourse its my definition of being good!!!
I dont say that being good means you follow your parents and elders blindly, listen and do what is told to you. Go to temples everyday (thats a complete showoff!!! huh!!!), do household chores without an "uh"..(thats too much...i kno!!!)
You can only be good to yourself...by following your own principles. If you try to please people, you'll be good for some and bad for some. If only you are true to your own conscience, can you actualy be satisfied with yourself and "be good" ;-)
But loads of times, there are things and situations that deflect you from your goal, cease you from thinking about your values. And most of the times, when people in your vicinity come to know you well, they try to use your principles against you!!! Your strengths become your weaknesses.... and if you stick to your beliefs, you seem to be weak (but actualy you are brave enough to stand by yourself.)
And then, you have this impression of your's in place...that you are weak or to put it the other way...that you are "good"..(meaning that you are a complete fool!!!!). People take you for granted.. and you dont care about this coz you are in line with your beliefs!!!
But there has to be a limit....you cant let this continue...coz you cant see others take undue advantage of you. This is when you have to modify your values and principles!!! This is when you have to stop being "good"....and when this happens...you are happy!!! you are happy NOT being good!!! you feel contended hitting back on people (not physically hitting okay???)
And so you change....
I dont say that being good means you follow your parents and elders blindly, listen and do what is told to you. Go to temples everyday (thats a complete showoff!!! huh!!!), do household chores without an "uh"..(thats too much...i kno!!!)
You can only be good to yourself...by following your own principles. If you try to please people, you'll be good for some and bad for some. If only you are true to your own conscience, can you actualy be satisfied with yourself and "be good" ;-)
But loads of times, there are things and situations that deflect you from your goal, cease you from thinking about your values. And most of the times, when people in your vicinity come to know you well, they try to use your principles against you!!! Your strengths become your weaknesses.... and if you stick to your beliefs, you seem to be weak (but actualy you are brave enough to stand by yourself.)
And then, you have this impression of your's in place...that you are weak or to put it the other way...that you are "good"..(meaning that you are a complete fool!!!!). People take you for granted.. and you dont care about this coz you are in line with your beliefs!!!
But there has to be a limit....you cant let this continue...coz you cant see others take undue advantage of you. This is when you have to modify your values and principles!!! This is when you have to stop being "good"....and when this happens...you are happy!!! you are happy NOT being good!!! you feel contended hitting back on people (not physically hitting okay???)
And so you change....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
