My South Trip - Final Version

So my long trip to South ended way bak last month (17th october i came back) and unlike Chennai, i loved the rest of the journey. Its pretty long i wrote this, but I really gotta write this.

The only word that comes to my mind is Awesome! The backwaters of Kerala, or Kovalam Beach near Trivendrum (it is the best beach I came across in south, Mahabalipuram ranks 2nd), its simply Amazing. The Arabian Sea at its vigour at the backwaters, the lovely waves of Kovalam beach helps me forget my food woes ;).

The journey from Chennai started with our going to Rameshwaram (the mandir there is good but not well maintained, and there is no beach), Madurai (Meenaxi Temple is the only attraction) to Kodai Kanal (a hillstation in south!). Kodai is beautiful, it even rained there and it was chilly. Then Backwaters and Kovalam Beach made the list look as if it was going from worse to best! Finally, Kanyakumari happened. Its the best place on Earth! I am in love with that place. (More so because I got bong food there :D). But i have developed a special liking for Kanyakumari and I found the people pretty helpful here. The sight of Three Oceans meeting was truly wonderful and I believe every one should, once in life, visit this place. There is a different aura, the wind, the sun, everything makes you feel great :).

The trip ended with Koimbatore and there wasnt much that is worth describing. One odd thing I noticed in Chennai was that in evenings people put on jackets even if its still hot! (maybe it was hot only for us!! im not laughing). In a nut shell, all I can say is that it was a good and diverse experience. And the only place I look forward to visiting again is... any guesses?? Kanyakumari :)

My South Trip - Part 2

I left the last blog in mid way.. with a feeling of disgust and displeasure.

I dont say my feelings for Chennai have changed, but I didnt interact with the natives today (not with what happened yesterday) and thankfully the picturesque view of Mahabalipuram washed away the grim picture, atleast for now!

The beach was awesome, probably the best one I have been till date! The waves, the air (the wind I must say), the sun..everything was PERFECT! I loved capturing them all in my digicam, and with every pic I thought of becoming a photographer (but it was the scenic beauty that was the reason for the great pics, not my capability as a photographer!!)

And all this was bliss until I reached Chennai again, and it didnt take long to reach Chennai from Mahabalipuram as it took to get back home in Chennai. I dont know what connection I have with this place, but I just am not getting a good picture of this place.

I am leaving this place tomorrow, and would return here on 17th and I am looking forward to it (actually Im looking forward to getting back to Delhi, and my flight is from Chennai!!)

But I, for the first time, liked staying at home here..at my brother's place and if I return to Chennai, I would miss his home if I dont come here. :) (Dont worry bro, I'm not coming to Chennai for long ;) like I said, if possible I will not come before my next birth!! so relax!!)

Next I would not crib.. TO BE CONTINUED ;)

My South Trip Part 1

Well I go on such kinds of vacations every year but this one is special!! Yes, its because its a South
Trip. My First South Trip. And the next south trip be soon..My next Birth!!!!

What went wrong? Nothing actually. The weather is better than what it is the whole year! And I have everything, A chauffeur driven car, an AC room, a lappy, a novel and most importantly Holidays!
What is amiss? Warmth of feelings. Cheerful Faces. Helpful smiles. Being a delhiite, I really am missing all this. And this is what i feel is the essence.

Day 1 Chennai: I reach at 8 pm after a horrible flight with Indigo. Sorry but Id rather prefer saying DontgoIndigo!!! It really sucks! Thankfully I met my cousin after a long time, and that saved my day! Didnt sleep the entire night..cant say why.. :P

Day 2 Chennai: Lazying around. Exploring my cousin's belongings!! :P and ordering food! Spent the evening at Asia's longest beach. And then a surprize!! 10:30 pm Volvo to Tirupati. I thought I would take a two night's sleep in the bus. So I got all geared up for Balaji Darshan at Tirupati!!
And the surprize starts now... It wasnt a volvo, it was a Traveller!! I got a single seat and spent another sleepless night. But I knew, I'd get some sleep before the Darshan.

Surprize!!!! We reach Tirupati at 02:30 am and we are given half an hour's time by the travel agent to get ready to get the tickets to Tirupati. So I was standing in a line at 03:30 pm for the counter which opens at 5! The counters open and I get my finger printed ticket to Tirupati, and I take the beautiful lanes connecting Tirupati and Tirumala. Amazingly beautiful I could have said..but I didnt register much of it. So I missed one of the most awaited part of my trip. :(
@7:30 I was in a mad line full of bald south indians (no racism intended!! ) pushing each other out of their ways, as if its not an idol we were about to pray to, but the god himself. As the wait grew endless, the mob got fiercer and it was difficult to stay put. I didnt walk, i was pushed till the end.

Negative point(s): I had never seen a pilgrimage, where you are discriminated on the basis of the amount printed on your ticket! VIP's, defense personnels, TV and film personalities do get privileges, but normal people?? gime a break!! The native people there have this tremendous capability of pushing people out of their way to get to their. And hospitality.. They know nothing about it, they prefer Hospitals!!

Im not being against people there, but if I find an outsider in Delhi, I will try and help that person to the best of my ability. Alas, everyone doesnt feel the same way.

Im so tired that I have not included everything i felt during the 5 hours i spent inside the temple. But one thing is for sure, except the darshan part, I didnt quite like it. (And if you girls have been there, you must be aware of the stares that they they give you if you are fair! I dont know the logic, but all of them just keep on looking at you as if you are a foreigner!!) And i had decided then and there, I will write a blog regarding this.

The other best part, I came back to my cousin by 6 pm! And since then, Im having a good time. (Ofcourse, I love writing this!)

To be continued..

A peep into my mind!!

Since a long long time I had thought of penning down my thoughts about you. I would definitely want you to read this even though I know that there is a high probability that you might not know I wrote this and I wrote this for you. And if you read it, please read it in its entirity.

It might sound cliched..but I am writing this just to let you know the depth of my feelings for you... in such a public forum..(dont worry, I'm not posting it anywhere!! )

Dont know where to start from. Maybe the first thing I do everyday.. When I get up in the morning, I think of you, my day starts with you, the prime objective is to meet You. Trust me, the day when I dont get to meet you, I dont even wana get up! I dono why but when I express myself..it comes out as a typical Bollywood Dialogue!!!

My life doesnt revolve around me, it revolves around you... your health, your likes, your wish, your dislikes etc etc etc. Sometimes I think I am going crazy. I have been in this thinking mode since I met you. And dont you think I think too much? Well, even I cant help it!!

I dont do things for myself, whatever I do has got something to do with you. I loooooove scolding you, my day is incomplete without shouting on you, I like the way you obey me sometimes and the way you sometimes overrule me.. I dont know why but I feel as if there is no one who can stop you from doing anything, except me. I cant let you do something that is wrong for you or for anyone, something that could harm you in present or in future. (Your past is something I have no control upon.)

I dont want you to change, I liked you for what you were, and I still like you for what you are. The way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you look, the way you talk (even though not everything you talk :) ). My life has shrinked to the time that I spend with you, I dont remember what I do the entire day, but I remember the colour of your Shirt!! I dont notice my surroundings, thats so unusual of me.. but I know when you need water! I know when you are upset (and sometimes even the reason), or tensed, or sad, or very happy. I just know it! You dont need to change yourself for others, coz they dont care what you are, but if someone cares, he/she might not be complaining for no reason. Your likes and dislikes are limited, not what everyone does, but that doesnt mean that you are less than anyone.

I have never thought about anyone like this.. so obviously there is something in you that my heart is glued to yours. I dont care about worldly things, coz there is something money can never buy.. My Heart..My Happiness..My Feelings.. Happiness is something very specific to individuals. For me its not sitting inside an AC Room and watching rainfall, but standing in the rain probably searching for a shed! Or standing beneath a tree, getting drenched and still thinking as if the tree saved me. Its not a dinner in any 5-Star Hotel, but a cozy one at a restaurant. Im not a show off.. I like limelight, but for the good reasons. I would be happy if people think Im Intelligent and rather than being called Sexy or Hot! I can do what all other girls can do too, but I choose not to, bcoz I believe that humans are not good or bad by birth, its the choices they make and the decisions they take, that make them good or bad.

I know you would not read it, its sooooo big!! But I want to write...I want to say more.
I love the way you handle things, the way you deal with your personal problems. And I am soo sorry that I could not do anything anytime. Sometimes, you are so helpless, that you cant do what you want. You know what I am talking about. Those are the times when I feel that all I have for you is the emotional support, and I really dont know if you need that!

There are times that I am tooo angry with you, but thats a part and parcel of life right? You get the good things and you get the bad things as well. You cant do anything about it! All I want is that in future, I dont regret that I didnt give us a chance. I dont know if I have a future without us.. but I just dont want to bang my head with someone who is rich but who doesnt understand me, who is intelligent but doesnt care for me, who is handsome but doesnt love me! But if you're that someone, I would not be happy with you too. There is something that I value to death, LOYALTY.. I can give my life to prove I am loyal and I expect the same. Any relationship for me is TRUST. No Trust No Friendship/Relationship. And about my ego...well it gets activated with egoists..if you are egoistic, I will be two steps ahead of you. If you are not, Im two steps behind.

The end of it?? I dint write everything on my mind! But I had to end it anyway! So, I am there for you till the time you are with me. The best way to go away from me is to break my trust (and you know you have to be disloyal). One piece of advice: Always think what you have and what others crave for and value it. Coz if you ignore it, the thing might be lost and you might never ever in your life get it back. It might seem tough to hold onto it, but once lost, it would be tougher to retrieve it. And yes you are thinking right!

Last line.. you know what! (wink)!!
Dahlia

My Friends

Okay.. so there was a time when I promised one of my best friends that I will write a blog mentioning them.. This is the time.

So I will start chronologically..
Anubhav: This guy is my 'bachpan ka dost'... Even if I forget him, he never does. Always in touch. And even if he talkes after a gap of 6 months, hes that good old friend of mine who keeps on scolding me!! :P

Abhi: She is the sweetest friend I made in secondary school. Abhi is probably the first one I ever confided to. I love bitching with her, talking about our lives, others lives, guyz...everything. She is sexy, has a gud sense of fashion, adorable..She has stood by me always. All I can say is that I love her. And if you have been reading this, You are my STRENGTH.

Shweta: She's my best friend till date..We are so close, that we meet almost every weekend. We have been together at school for just two years, but never did we know that we will be lifelong best buddies. She is the one I run to with all my problems. She is 'the only one'!! I cant imagine my life without her, she was there with me when I was low, she has defended me, fought for me and taken my side through adversities. She has a special place in my heart, and I will try and not do anything that could affect our friendship or rather sisterhood. Dont leave me Shweta..I... I dono what would happen then!

Happy and Alok: Alok is the only guy with whom I fight always inspite of sharing same viewpoints. There was a time I couldnt stand him!!! And that has made him special. I had other friends in school and I hated Alok.. but we are great friends now, matured, grown up!! (I hope we will not fight again!!).
Happy is the most cheerful, fun loving, easy, bindaas guy amongst us. I really love being with these two, have spent some of the most beautiful and fun moments of my life with them. Any tension, talk to Alok, he'l not solve it...:D but he'l give you the strength to fight it and Happy would joke it away and make you feel better. I am lucky to get them as my friends.

Vikram: Another bindaas banda!! This guy is a No Show-off guy. Very down to earth yet cool and with a great great sense of homor! His Philosophies.. Ohh..I love them! hehe..I mean he is the one I can ping anytime and bore him. If he doesnt say 'Best of Luck', my exam just wont go well!! He is my good luck charm. I would never want to lose him.

Priyanka Arora, Mayank and Rahul Singh(BR2) : Someone told me that you cant make friends in Office. But I did! Rahul is the one who bears the brunt of my anger!! hehe.. Cause he knows how to pacify me. Mayank is that good guy with good virtues and good advices! He is alwayz on the side opposite me and Priyanka (sobs). Priyanka and me are one good family {;-)}... Together they have made my life at office Awsome!!

Others please watchout for the next one.. i wanted but couldnt include you all.. :)

My Enemy..

Sometimes I think I am not the kind of person I usually am. I dont know whether I am good or bad, all I know that I am lost in my decisions.. I am lost in my people.. Im not what I was..I dont know what I am missing but definitely theres something amiss. Wish I could figure it out and make my life complete.. I have everything that a girl my age would want.. a loving family, wonderful friends, an okay job... but there is something I want.. I dont know what.

There are some unfulfilled expectations from people.. cant force people to change. So it seems I have to change my outlook..my expectations and thus, my feelings for them! Im trying to do it..and I hope I will be able to do it soon coz the Dahlia I know is a tough girl. The Dahlia I know is someone who is focussed towards her future, who never gave a damn to what people think of her. All she knows is to Excel....as I write all this now.. I realise I have lost it all.. and then I think I was correct in thinking that I am lost!!

I have stagnated, the world has gone far. I have to double or maybe triple my velocity to keep up with my surroundings..but I lack the urge, the desire! Its the first time that I am feeling dead. I dont want to go and compete with the world over meaningless things. I dont want myself to do what others want me to do.. I want to live on my own..I want to do what I feel like doing.. I dont want to prove my worth, my importance to people. Im tired of that. I dont want to become a puppet I have been since the last 2-3 years.

People who know me would never believe I am writing this.. coz they have known Dahlia, not me.. they dont know that I exist. But I do..and I have taken over Dahlia's life and stopped buzzing. I am my biggest enemy.

Back to Friends

Well... last time I talked about friends...it was a great feeling.
This time its a troubled feeling...


When your life runs smoothly, friends add hue to it. When you are troubled, they remove the grey lines. But what happens when you know that there is a grey line in a friend's life and in the process of removing that, your friend turns away from you???

Well this is regarding a female friend of mine... who is facing problems at workplace. She didn't have the courage to talk about it to her parents. Being my best friend, she entrusted me with it! Now that I knew it, I couldnt let her work there... and everything I said started going against me. I tried to convince her to talk to her parents or to her sis if not her dad.. But she started ignoring me. She is of the thought that her evaluation would suffer if she brings up the issue in the office, and would be kind of emprisoned if she tells it to her parents.

Our parents would never take a wrong decision for us, nor would they ever think of jeopardising our future. If they trust us, they would not make us pay for something we didnt do!!
But probably she didnt want to listen to me. I dont know how any rating can be more than respect! Any firm can never evaluate me to the best of my abilities..and so for such an evaluation I cant stake myself, my integrity and my values.

But this thought of mine intensified the gap she has created...I am still not sure what she thinks. If she doesnt like it, why does she let it happen? And I dont want to believe she would like it!
She has always been strong, both in terms of mind and might... I dont know what keeps her mum this time. I know her keeping shut is dangerous and I dont want her to harm herself, but I cant gather up the strength and inform her parents. Moreover, I'm sure she would not like my going to her parents. Coz she has lately been disliking my thoughts over this issue.

I seek strength from other friends of mine...to come to a decision... My friendship with her is on a toss right now and the worse that can happen, would be that she would never talk to me.. but if she's safe, sooner or later she'll realize we were on the same side! But till then, she'll hate me!!