A peep into my mind!!

Since a long long time I had thought of penning down my thoughts about you. I would definitely want you to read this even though I know that there is a high probability that you might not know I wrote this and I wrote this for you. And if you read it, please read it in its entirity.

It might sound cliched..but I am writing this just to let you know the depth of my feelings for you... in such a public forum..(dont worry, I'm not posting it anywhere!! )

Dont know where to start from. Maybe the first thing I do everyday.. When I get up in the morning, I think of you, my day starts with you, the prime objective is to meet You. Trust me, the day when I dont get to meet you, I dont even wana get up! I dono why but when I express myself..it comes out as a typical Bollywood Dialogue!!!

My life doesnt revolve around me, it revolves around you... your health, your likes, your wish, your dislikes etc etc etc. Sometimes I think I am going crazy. I have been in this thinking mode since I met you. And dont you think I think too much? Well, even I cant help it!!

I dont do things for myself, whatever I do has got something to do with you. I loooooove scolding you, my day is incomplete without shouting on you, I like the way you obey me sometimes and the way you sometimes overrule me.. I dont know why but I feel as if there is no one who can stop you from doing anything, except me. I cant let you do something that is wrong for you or for anyone, something that could harm you in present or in future. (Your past is something I have no control upon.)

I dont want you to change, I liked you for what you were, and I still like you for what you are. The way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you look, the way you talk (even though not everything you talk :) ). My life has shrinked to the time that I spend with you, I dont remember what I do the entire day, but I remember the colour of your Shirt!! I dont notice my surroundings, thats so unusual of me.. but I know when you need water! I know when you are upset (and sometimes even the reason), or tensed, or sad, or very happy. I just know it! You dont need to change yourself for others, coz they dont care what you are, but if someone cares, he/she might not be complaining for no reason. Your likes and dislikes are limited, not what everyone does, but that doesnt mean that you are less than anyone.

I have never thought about anyone like this.. so obviously there is something in you that my heart is glued to yours. I dont care about worldly things, coz there is something money can never buy.. My Heart..My Happiness..My Feelings.. Happiness is something very specific to individuals. For me its not sitting inside an AC Room and watching rainfall, but standing in the rain probably searching for a shed! Or standing beneath a tree, getting drenched and still thinking as if the tree saved me. Its not a dinner in any 5-Star Hotel, but a cozy one at a restaurant. Im not a show off.. I like limelight, but for the good reasons. I would be happy if people think Im Intelligent and rather than being called Sexy or Hot! I can do what all other girls can do too, but I choose not to, bcoz I believe that humans are not good or bad by birth, its the choices they make and the decisions they take, that make them good or bad.

I know you would not read it, its sooooo big!! But I want to write...I want to say more.
I love the way you handle things, the way you deal with your personal problems. And I am soo sorry that I could not do anything anytime. Sometimes, you are so helpless, that you cant do what you want. You know what I am talking about. Those are the times when I feel that all I have for you is the emotional support, and I really dont know if you need that!

There are times that I am tooo angry with you, but thats a part and parcel of life right? You get the good things and you get the bad things as well. You cant do anything about it! All I want is that in future, I dont regret that I didnt give us a chance. I dont know if I have a future without us.. but I just dont want to bang my head with someone who is rich but who doesnt understand me, who is intelligent but doesnt care for me, who is handsome but doesnt love me! But if you're that someone, I would not be happy with you too. There is something that I value to death, LOYALTY.. I can give my life to prove I am loyal and I expect the same. Any relationship for me is TRUST. No Trust No Friendship/Relationship. And about my ego...well it gets activated with egoists..if you are egoistic, I will be two steps ahead of you. If you are not, Im two steps behind.

The end of it?? I dint write everything on my mind! But I had to end it anyway! So, I am there for you till the time you are with me. The best way to go away from me is to break my trust (and you know you have to be disloyal). One piece of advice: Always think what you have and what others crave for and value it. Coz if you ignore it, the thing might be lost and you might never ever in your life get it back. It might seem tough to hold onto it, but once lost, it would be tougher to retrieve it. And yes you are thinking right!

Last line.. you know what! (wink)!!
Dahlia